Christmas Day at home

Christmas is a very special time for me, wonderful memories of time spent with family and friends, my parents always made it memorable.

I want to make it special for my babies too so, gearing up for Christmas we made cookies (not as many or as nice as I would have liked), chocolate covered pretzels (something Granny used to do but since she passed away a few months ago, we continued her tradition), we made Christmas cards for our family and friends (with blood, sweat and tears as you will see), had dinner with family and friends we love as family and we opened presents. Bennett got a Buzz Lightyear but to my surprise the $5.99 electric guitar was the hit...so much for the fancy toy, although I got a good deal!

We visited Sunshine Acres and brought pizza and brownies for the kids. We brought the donations we collected at the office, it was fun and sad at the same time. Seeing children there without parents to love on them broke my heart. We plan and save and dream about  how our kids' lives will be and these children have no one to do that for them.  Hopefully their hope is in God, He will never fail them.

More than anything we spent time with family...I did not have that for many years so, it is a real treat to have them around and to see my boys hanging out with cousins...is priceless. So, I put together a little video for the family and I thought I would share it with you my friends...Obviously not a pro...but enjoy it anyway! The pictures at the end are a few of the pictures we took to get "one" for our Christmas card...it is always fun to try to get the perfect picture!

 

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve service at our church was special. The music, the message and at the end the candle lights...Greg took this picture and I thought it was beautiful because it shows the light in darkness.
Jesus came to bring light and eternal life.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, 

which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11

So much to share and so little time!

Tomorrow is my day off. As every one of my days off, I have a to do list. Let's see if I can get through it... funny...get through my to do list!!!! :)

Updating my blog is on my to do list. I can't wait to share Christmas and what God is doing in my heart. 

Our Christmas was wonderful and I hope from the bottom of my heart that yours was blessed as well!

A Rainy Day in Arizona

Every time it rains and I am at work, I look out the window and wish I was home with my kids and we could grab a blanket and read books or watch a movie. Today, its raining, I am home with my kids but we are not watching a movie or laying down reading books. I am trying to work on my "stuff" but I can't, instead I am getting some therapy (blogging), pacing around my house going from one room to another where my boys are sleeping. Checking them for fever and listening for coughs or yet another vomiting session. I am sad, maybe I feel worse because its a rainy day and I don't get to cuddle and have fun.

It is gorgeous here when it rains...I absolutely love the desert.
I need a vanilla latte, maybe that will make me feel better.

Hope your day is a beautiful one.

xoxo, L

Oh! I am so stressed out!

My baby wanted an ice pack on his head...

Bennett has been sick since Sunday, that alone is enough to make me want to cry...my to do list is soo long I won't even look at it right now. 

Felt better for a few minutes
we went outside to play

I thought today, being my day off I would have "some" time to get some work done while the boys took naps. FUNNY!!!.... Instead, I cleaned vomit and changed outfits and sheets 5 times too many! Hopefully today was the worst day and tomorrow he feels better. I am thankful I got to be home with him all day...still at this moment I can smell the vomit on me! The joys of motherhood, huh!

Speaking of the joys of motherhood ladies... NOBODY warned me about this...not my mom, not my sisters or my best friends, not any of YOU moms that come to our office. Everyone said how wonderful motherhood was.
              WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 

Sleepless nights, worrying about them being sick...worrying about everything from feeding the baby to thinking about college and even worrying about who they will marry because of course I am crazy and I already think about it. 

My mom did say "you will never ever, sleep well ever again". She was right, I can not think about one time where I have gotten up to drink water or go to the bathroom without checking on my boys...or just getting up to check on my boys, what a life!  A slave to your children...but oh! what sweet slavery...isn't it? 

Last night as I was changing Bennett after being sick  he said "Mommy, I think I love you"...melted my heart, I will change 1000 outfits and 1000 vomitted sheets for him anytime. The love I feel for my boys is so deep! I could honestly do without the worrying but since it comes with the package of being a mom, I will take it and be sooo thankful for it. Our babies...one of God's greatest blessings to women, aren't they? Thank you Lord!

Decorating my house for Christmas   (not checked)

Christmas presents for my family (not checked)

Finishing office stuff (definitely not checked)

Christmas Cookies (not checked)

and on and on....and on.

Tell me about your day... thanks for visiting!

xoxo, L

My Greatest Fears and how I "try" to overcome them.

• 

As I have said before, I am a "crazy" mom. No.... lets try that again,  I am the President of the Crazy Mom Club. I am over cautious and completely paranoid. I worry a lot and think about the "what if"...even more.

My greatest fears are my children or my husband becoming ill or someone taking them and hurting them. Obviously, there is nothing I can do about them becoming ill, that is in God's hands, we pray every night for their health and safety among many other things but, you just don't know. I will be blogging more on this topic soon....

Like many, I try to feed my boys a healthy diet, I limit sweets a lot although my oldest has an obsession with any and all chewy candy, courtesy of the Libby family. Some days are better than others.

My fear of them being taken is something that I can do something about, by following certain rules and being aware of surroundings and people. My love for the tv shows like forensic files, disappeared and all  "cop shows" have made me even more paranoid but I have also learned a few things that probably will keep me and my kids safer. 

After watching a show about child abductions, I decided to do something about it in our community. So, being the crazy mom I am, I called the Phoenix police department, Scottsdale police department and finally the FBI. To my surprise, the local police did not offer ANY help nor were they willing to even answer questions. They kept telling me that due to budget cuts they could not help, even though I told them repeatedly that I wanted to speak to someone to get some questions answered. No luck there.  

To my surprise, the FBI was not only willing to talk to me but they were so helpful and willing to share information and ideas on how to  obtain resources to help keep our children safer.

I decided to make it a focus in our practice to make child safety one of our goals this year so, throughout the year, we will have special events to help other crazy moms like me keep our babies safe.

Here is the scoop, I am currently speaking to the local FBI office and we will hopefully be hosting an event where an FBI agent comes to speak about....ta daaaa "Child Safety or Internet Safety" that is why we have the poll on my blog to decide which one we are going to do first. We will be inviting all the parents in our practice and we will also make it available for your friends and family as well as the  community around us. We will also host an event after that where we will be handing out free fingerprint  and DNA kits that you can keep with you in case of an emergency. 

I am very excited about being able to do this but my hope and prayer is that no one EVER has to use them but if they do hopefully that will help bring a child back home to their parents safe.

Although I worry a lot about everything, my hope and trust is in the Lord, I am NOT perfect and I need to remind myself that He is in control and not me so, I keep this Bible verse on my desk as a reminder that I have to let go and LET GOD.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

We Love play dough!

I can not truly overcome all my fears, I can only pray and trust in Him.

Thanks for visiting! L

Flu season is here and we are fighting it...Are you?

I knew Bennett was not feeling well when he was laying on my lap the other day...I hoped that maybe he was just sleepy but then last night it ALL began...sore throat, pulling ears, low grade fever...and I thought ....here we go !... Sure enough today was worse. I get soo stressed out when my babies are sick!!  I always want to figure out a way to make them better right away. So, I do what every mom does when we are looking for something, yep...go to the internet and search what I can do to protect our family this winter season. I found this on cookinglight.com 

I hope that everyone stays healthy this winter...loooove the holidays!

Food alone can’t protect against the common cold or flu, but experts agree that a diet rich in a variety of produce, whole grains, lean proteins, and low-fat dairy products―along with adequate sleep, moderate exercise, and minimal stress―contributes to a well-functioning immune system.  Here are some key nutrients and recipes that will help increase the likelihood that you’ll fly through the winter months in good health.

Vitamin C

Choose citrus, like grapefruit, oranges, kumquats, tangerines, and clementines as well as canned tomatoes, chiles, or pineapple for vitamin C.

Tropical Citrus Compote

Ingredients

• 1/2  cup  water
• 1/2  cup  sugar
• 1  teaspoon  grated lime rind
• 1  teaspoon  grated orange rind
• 1 1/2  cups  orange sections (about 3 oranges)
• 1 1/2  cups  chopped peeled mango (about 1 mango)
• 1 1/2  cups  chopped peeled papaya (about 1 papaya)
• 1  cup  red grapefruit sections (about 2 grapefruit)

Preparation

1. Combine 1/2 cup water and sugar in a small saucepan; bring to a boil, stirring until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat; stir in rinds. Cool to room temperature. Strain sugar mixture through a fine sieve; discard solids.

2. Combine orange and remaining ingredients in a bowl. Add sugar mixture; toss gently.

Vitamin A

Pumpkin, butternut squash, and other deep-hued orange produce provide beta-carotene, which is converted in the body to vitamin A.  The squash in this recipe is also packed with vitamin C.

Butternut Squash Gratin with Bleu Cheese and Sage

Ingredients

• 5  cups  (3/4-inch) cubed peeled butternut squash (about 2 pounds)
• 1  (1 1/2-ounce) slice white bread
• 4  teaspoons  olive oil, divided
• 2  cups  thinly sliced onion
• 1  tablespoon  chopped fresh sage
• 1/2  teaspoon  salt
• 1/4  teaspoon  freshly ground black pepper
• Cooking spray
• 1/2  cup  (2 ounces) crumbled blue cheese

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 400°.

2. Steam butternut squash, covered, 10 minutes or until tender.

3. Place bread in a food processor, and pulse 12 times or until coarse crumbs measure 1/2 cup. Transfer to a small bowl; add 2 teaspoons oil, and toss with a fork to combine.

4. Heat remaining 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add sliced onion to pan; saute 5 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally. Transfer the onion mixture to a large bowl. Add butternut squash, chopped sage, salt, and black pepper to bowl, and toss gently to combine. Spoon squash mixture into an 11 x 7–inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake at 400° for 20 minutes. Sprinkle crumbled blue cheese evenly over squash mixture, and sprinkle evenly with breadcrumb mixture. Bake an additional 10 minutes or until the cheese is melted and crumbs are golden brown.

When life is not fair

I have seen my husband cry 3 times since we met. When his dad passed away, when one of his best friend's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer (5 months ago) and today, when her husband, his friend was diagnosed with colon cancer. What are the chances of  a couple, two wonderful and I truly mean wonderful, loving people get diagnosed with cancer at the same time?

I just can not wrap my head around the thought  of them not being around for their 3 children, it  makes me sick to my stomach. They are fighting the fight of their life and for their life and I hope and I pray and ask the Lord from the bottom of my heart to let them win because the world is better and life is better for those who know them with them in it. 

My mom always told me, life is not fair...and it is not.... but, we are here and it is the way that we decide to live our lives that will make us or break us. I know for our friends, probably this will make their love for each other grow even more.  For us, a good reminder of how precious and fragile life is.

So, tonight would you please say a prayer for our friends D & B. Kiss your hubby, tell him you love him and appreciate him and love on your babies a little more...because you don't know what tomorrow may bring. 

I HATE to LOVE the United States of America

I hate to be wrong and I don't like  to admit it. It takes A LOT...more than a few minutes and ALMOST a shot of tequila, for me to swallow my pride and admit...mostly to my husband when I am wrong.  He  of course, loves it.  I am sure everyone who reads this blog would know...women are always right. :)

Most of you know I was born in Mexico.  I grew up with a love/ hate feeling towards the United States...I loved to visit, I loved shopping, I loved that everything was organized and clean, I admired the love that Americans had for their country and the pride they felt.

At the same time, I hated that "they" always won at everything, they were first at everything and I hated that I felt they thought they were better than everyone else in the world.

When I moved to the US to go to school, because of course they have the best dental schools in the world, I thought to myself, I will train there and learn as much as I can, be as good as I can be and go back home.  Little did I know, God had different plans for me!! 

After moving here, I began to learn more about this country, Greg and I love history and like to read a lot (not lately) but, learning about this country, how it was founded and its principles is an eye opener.  I absolutely fell in love with it. Being an "outsider" I think I can understand better why people hate it.  People hate the US because it is a prosperous nation, blessed by God. They hate it because it is a still a democracy...people do have freedom, unlike many countries in the world, including Mexico. It is truly the land of opportunity. 

Most Americans are very hard working people and  they are the most giving nation in the world. Giving their sons and daughters to fight for the freedom of men and women around the world, giving for every cause possible, being the first in any tragedy, anywhere in the world to lend a hand. I remember the earthquake that destroyed Mexico City in the 80's and I remember seeing the airplanes coming from the US carrying food, water, search and rescue specialists with their dogs and more and you know what every package of food said? "Donated by the people of the United States".....WOW....

I became a citizen a few years ago, the ceremony was emotional and many people shared their love and thankfulness to this country. I was moved to tears. I still felt funny putting my hand on my heart when they played the national anthem. After I had Bennett, I felt like I was officially, an American. That does not mean that I don't love Mexico or that I am not proud of my Hispanic heritage, I am and I will absolutely want my boys to love their heritage as well. 

People should feel proud of being Americans, there is no country like this in the world. No apologies!!  The freedom that we have is absolutely amazing and many paid with their lives for it. When I watch the news and read about how the government wants to take some of our freedoms away, it scares me. I want my boys to enjoy the same freedoms and not have to pay for our complacency. This is a country that is worth fighting for, so please vote this November 2nd, this general election is so important to the future of this country. If you don't know how to vote or have questions about where candidates stand visit www.azvoterguide.com for a non-partisan guide to vote.  

I can not wait for my boys to be older so we can stand together and place our hands over our hearts when the Star Spangled Banner is played. 

I hate to say it...but, I was wrong. America is a great country...and I LOVE IT. 

I can honestly say, I LOVE to LOVE the United States of America.

How much pain can you endure?

Today, was a good day at church. The worship was fantastic and the sermon full of wisdom and good advice.  Sadly, we learned about 2 church families that had unexpected deaths this week. One of those families is people I know from choir. Over the time that I have known them, I have seen them endure pain and financial struggles that I wish no one would have to go through and now a death from a terrible accident.

I have never had to endure a lot of pain in my life. I had a wonderful family growing up and I was always able to achieve my goals with little dissapointment.  I lost an aunt that I loved dearly and I lost 2 babies. I never held my babies because my pregnancies ended early and suddenly but I still cried, my heart was still broken but in my sadness, I was still able to praise God and say, "Your will, not mine". I often wonder if I lost one of my boys or my husband, if I would still be able to praise God. I don't know and it scares me to even think about it.

Seeing this family go through all these difficult times is hard, I wonder ...how much pain they can endure? I don't question God... but I just don't understand why? I guess I will never know because I am not God, I don't know His will or the "Big Picture" in their lives. I do know that the only thing that has gotten this family through is their unwavering faith in God.

As I am writing this and reflecting on what was said in church this morning I guess I am answering my own question... Why? why do they have to endure all this pain? For the rest of us, to learn to be thankful for what we have, to remind us that God is in control, not us and at least for me to continue to try to stay close to the Lord.

When I was trying to put B to sleep this evening, he began to cry and throw a tantrum...I held him and tickled him and I thought to myself...Thank you Lord that I get to put my son to sleep and kiss him good night and sing him a lullaby. After he fell asleep I prayed for the family that won't be able to do that again and I prayed that we as a family don't let ourselves get so worked up about schedules and deadlines and every other thing that distracts us from what is truly important.

Torture

As I have said before, I LOOVE, talking to other moms. I don't have a life outside work and my family which is fine with me...not complaining here. But, when I talk to moms about everyday things, life, kids, husbands and such, its like going to Starbucks, getting my Tall Extra Dry Capuccino and chatting with a girlfriend. Hence, my running late all the time with my schedule. 

I think I have posted a few of my obsessions...not hobbies, I call them obsessions because that is what they are, I go crazy when I have time to do a "small project" ( I won't define "small project" for lack of time space but lets just say its not small : 0 )  One of my obsessions is... I don't even know what to call it...Stamping? sounds simple and straight forward right? well let me tell YOU it is NOT.

Today, JDC was in the office for her daughter's appointment and of course SHE HAS to tell me about this blog.... http://inkingidaho.blogspot.com (I am posting it so I can pass on the torture to someone else) We are sharing with each other about things we do and we find out, we are very much alike. We are both CRAZY....Yes, crazy obsessed with "projects" we never get to do. 

We want to do EVERYTHING and we simply don't. Why you ask? Simple.... GUILT....Mother's guilt. If I am not doing something for my kids or with my kids...ITS WRONG!!!! I am a bad mom.... AH it kills me!

Back to my story. Of course as soon as the boys go down, what do I do? Instead of working on my other 100 projects for the office. I decide to torture myself, I go into this blog and look at all this stuff that I would love to make....I am thinking I am going to buy these tutorials so I can make my own Christmas cards or Birthday cards....or this or that for my office. WHO AM I KIDDING??? No one, I just want to torture myself.

 I will probably buy a tutorial, then call my Stampin' Up favorite person Lorri Heiling (http://stampingaddict.blogspot.com/)  and place a huge order so that I have everything I need to make whatever I decide to do when I have time. Hilarious...when I have time. 

There is no moral to this story...the feel good part about this story is:

• There are other moms as crazy as I am which...makes me feel better about myself 
• There are other moms that feel the same mother's guilt regardless of them being a stay at home mom or a working mom like me and that also makes me feel better about myself
• I am not alone...one way or another we are all the same. Sharing is what matters. We are all in this boat together and although we might be very different we all go through similar challenges in our family life and when you know you are not alone or the only one feeling a certain way....IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER

So... I am feeling better. My "play room" will continue to be a "dumping ground" for my projects for a while but I am not alone. 

A friend recently asked me if I was getting enough sleep and I said of course not!!  I have a 4 month old! She smiled and said that moms get their sleep when they are in heaven after their job is done.  Mmmmm, I don't think so, instead of sleeping  I probably will be chasing God, asking questions about EVERYTHING... Likely, He will ask one of his angels to please send me back to earth as soon as possible. 

One thing is for sure, come hell or high water,  I am baking this weekend. Of course, after the boys go down for naps! 

Traveling...Torture or Fun.

I love to travel. I inherited the love for traveling from my dad. I remember him coming back from his adventures in exotic places and just listening to him in awe! He would start the story when we dropped him off at the airport and end it right before we picked him up.

My "exotic" travel at this time includes California and Iowa.  Yes, pretty exotic.! Over time, we have made some adjustments and this last trip was....let's just say... better.  There are some great products out there that make life easier when you travel ... I always say: "Why didn't I think of that?!"

My Travel Necessities:

1)Backpacks
Hands are free and can hold hands, bottles, suitcases...and of course we check our suitcases.

2) Baby Bjorn
 They used to be bulky and hot but the new one is easy to put on and not hot at all. pretty cool!

3) Go Go Baby Z
We placed Bennett's car seat on it and wheeled him around everywhere and he thought he was the coolest kid in the airport! It is safe, he was contained and the best part was...we didn't have to chase him all over the airport or worry about him laying on the floor! (mom is ....kind of a germaphobe) Which brings me to my next necessity....A CAR SEAT in the airplane.

Greg pulling Bennett while he is still sleeping.

4) Car seat in the plane
No more pulling Bennett from under the seat and no more grabbing other passenger's stuff. They are comfortable and used to their car seat so they don't mind it as much.
Just working on something to prevent him from kicking the person in front of him. :)

5) And the greatest invention from  Apple yet....

The iPad

Movies, Games, Music, Books and more, ...super light and easy to carry. TOTALLY WORTH THE MONEY. The best baby sitter in the whole entire world, I NEVER leave home without it.

5)Pronto Changing Station
This is the greatest changing station, I just had to post the link because it is just such a great product. I just laid it in the seat next to me and changed diapers. Check it out it is awesome.
http://www.skiphop.com/product/202000.html

6)Clorox Wipes


Yes,  I am a germaphobe, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. :) I carry clorox wipes in a ziploc bag and clean tables, chairs, wipe around my seat in the airplane and a few other things.

SO, now when I travel and get the dirty looks when people see me coming in the plane with 2 kids, I just smile and say I have my IPad!! and I apologize to the people around me ahead of time.

Because I am so attached to my IPad and think every parent with children under 5 should have one, we have a contest for one in our facebook page. Sooo, if you don't have one yet or have one but need another one, go on our facebook page and enter the drawing. Trust me you will love it.

So, traveling.. torture or fun? Mmmmmmmm.......Both!

What I have learned as the mom of a 2 year old...

Bennett...climbing, Brock on the baby bjorn...screaming and mommy having a panic attack...making waffles!

MY TOP 5:

1. NEVER JUDGE

2. NEVER say never

3. SOMETHING is better than nothing

4. I AM NOT nor will I ever be good enough

5. Learn from your mistakes AND MOVE OOON!

1. NEVER JUDGE....WHY?

Simple, because you will be judged. NO more judging people from the contents of their shopping cart or the behavior of their children.

The waffle story. Every time I saw people buying frozen waffles I rolled my eyes, and thought to myself; what is the matter with these people?

The other day, I tried to make waffles, Brock was screaming for attention, Bennett was climbing on the chairs and I was trying to make waffles. I put Brock on the baby bjorn, and thought, no problem, I can do this. After about 30 minutes and a huge mess, Bennett was eating waffles and I was exhausted already. Will I buy frozen waffles? No, BUT I will only make them if Greg is here.

2. NEVER SAY NEVER..... WHY?

Because everything I said I would never do with my kids, I have already done...and if I haven't it is only a matter of time until I do. ie, using electronics as a babysitter....among other things that I am too embarrassed to admit.

3. SOMETHING is better than nothing

Some sleep is better than none, your children eating something good for them is better than nothing...Bennett cooperating for some of his exercises in gym class is better than no cooperation at all. AND SO ON....

4. I AM NOT NOR WILL I EVER BE PERFECT

I think this is true for all moms...if not, I guess there are some that are actually perfect!

We are all hard on ourselves. If the kids get sick,...I should have been more careful, if they don't do well in school, I should have spent more time with homework...if they get in trouble...it's our fault. If they get cavities...I don't floss enough... If, if, if...could have, should have, would have.

BUT do we ever give ourselves any credit for ALL the things we do right? The answer is NO, we don't. That's okay, at least it keeps me trying.

5.Learn from your mistakes and MOVE OOON!

Need I say more? Why do I punish myself ? Is it just me?

I am sure I have a lot more to learn, that is what life is about...and I can't wait to find out.

Thanks for reading and sharing....

I just need more time...

My sister decorated this cake for Bennett's second birthday while my mom, Greg, my brother in law and I made the small cakes with the animals on top. It was fun but a lot of work.

My mom working on the little piggies

The kitchen a complete mess!!!

I am always looking for "stuff" to do, its kind of scary because when I find something I want to do, I go a little crazy.

No, not a little crazy I go super crazy! Greg just smiles when I get into my "zone" and I LOVE that he lets me do what I want and even helps me sometimes.

I love to bake, cook, read, make jewelry and then bake some more. Luckily, my sister and mom love baking as much as I do. My mom is a great cook, anything she makes is awesome...she is a natural in the kitchen. She doesn't even need a recipe. Growing up my mom taught us how to bake the "perfect pie crust", all kinds of pies and cakes and of course as good mexicans, how to make flour tortillas.

As the holidays are approaching, I am looking forward to our baking sessions...I hope my boys are like their dad and get into it with me, even if its only for a few years and build memories. After all, when the people we love are gone that is all we have, the memories.

I am kind of getting interested on making my own lip balm...crazy....I know, I just love to try new things...I JUST NEED MORE TIME!!! Oh my, talking about time, its past midnight, I have to get up early tomorrow to go to church, I joined the choir. I am soo excited....I love to worship.

Anyway, anybody have a good recipe for lipbalm? :)

Brock is already 3 months

Time flies!! Brock is 3 months old already, where has time gone. I feel I just had him!!! Babies are so sweeet and delicious!

Gerda Hale

Bennett and Grandma Evelyn

Greg's grandmother passed away this week, I truly did not think that I was going to be sad about it but, I am. She was a very interesting person and NOT your typical grandma. No baking cookies, no loving ways...very direct, stubborn, a little selfish...and more. But, she knew how to have fun. When I met her, Greg and I had just gotten married and were living in Connecticut, she was in her 80's and she was hard to keep up with. Right about 5 o'clock she would tell Greg, "Gregory, its cocktail time, fix me a stiff drink" , with a still strong German accent, she would travel with a bottle of Canadian Whisky, unbelievable, as I am writing this, I am just laughing with Greg.... I don't think either of my grandmothers ever had an alcoholic drink so to me, that was SHOCKING!

She was born in Berlin, Germany to a jewish dad and a "gentile" mom, grew up spoiled until the II World War began. As the war began, her parents sent her to London, where she was supposed to live with a family who would take care of her but, instead they treated her as their maid. She met who would be grandpa Kurt and she had Evelyn (Greg's mom) during the war. The stories she told were amazing...her dad and brother had been taken to concentration camps and her mom bought their way out paying the guards. Then, her parents fled to Belgium where her mom worked (as she was not jewish) and her husband hid from the German army. Granny got on a ship with Evelyn and Grandpa Kurt and came to the US.

I think her life was hard starting out and I those events made her who she became. Although I was never close to her, I will miss her, I have Greg and my boys because of her and I will forever be thankful. We saw her in Iowa a few weeks ago and she told me..."I can't believe it...your boys are adopted, they are too big and blonde and could not be yours, you are too small" . :) I just smiled and said to her well, they got your blue eyes and she didn't say anything else...I am so glad that she got to meet my two boys, she was thrilled.

We spoke to her 2 weeks ago and she said goodbye, that was sooo said but, she was ok with it. She said "I'm done this is no way to live, I have had a good life" she was 90. I began to cry and I thanked her for everything she did for us, I told her I loved her although I hesitated but then I realized I was being honest...I do love her. I had Bennett get on the phone and tell her "I love you granny" and then he went on telling her about the whales and the sharks.

I will miss her, she was special, in a different kind of way but, still special. Rest in peace Granny, we will miss you.

Life could not be any sweeter

Wearing Bennett's Bruce the shark hat...tickling him to get a "happy picture" in the happiest place on earth! Bennett's face all day! Dad is more excited about the parade than Bennett.

Baby Brock...sweet as pie! More like daddy

Okay, I didn't think this was going to be so hard...2 babies makes a HUGE difference. Lots of moms warned me....THEY WERE RIGHT! I have to admit...I AM LOVING IT! Its crazy but I have already asked Greg...can we have another one? He looked at me and with a serious look in his face and he said.."NO" ..... It will be interesting to see what happens. I just feel that I am not done...and if I don't have another one, will I always regret it? or will I get over it? Any thoughts on that ladies?

We have not taken any vacation since Bennett was born so, we took a week off and we headed to where all Phoenicians go in the summer...of course, California. It is such a beautiful state, the weather is incredible and I LOVE the ocean. We took the boys to Disney and Sea World. It was a memorable time, Bennett had no interest in taking pictures with Buzz Lightyear who is his hero, no interest in Mickey Mouse who he loves to watch...No interest in riding any rides...I was just shocked with him not wanting to do anything. I told my sister and she said, that does not surprise me, he is just like you! I had to take a moment to think about this and I came to the conclusion that she is right!!! I was just like that as a little girl!! I will never admit this to her, I am sure she does not read my blog anyway....

The best part of this whole story was how it started for me... before going inside the park I had changed 3 diapers, breastfed on the floor outside Disney and chased Bennett who had no shoes on while I was trying to feed Brock, really fun!!. UNFORGETTABLE!

Greg and I had about 3 hours one afternoon where both boys were taking a nap and we just sat down and had a long talk sitting by the ocean in Seaport Village. Dreaming, planning, hoping and praying for a beautiful life with our boys. It was Awesome! I love my husband, just for putting up with me...and many other reasons. My dad told me one day "sweetie, you will marry a saint or a general" he was right, I was lucky enough to marry a saint. Life could not be any sweeter.

My first two weeks at work

Well, I made it through my first two weeks at work...barely. I must admit it was a struggle to leave my babies! I don't know why but I found it harder to go back to work this time. Today was especially hard but, once I get to the office and see my kiddos over there it is much easier. I feel like I have relationships with moms and their babies and it makes me happy.

I have started to take a day off a week, last wednesday when I was home and Bennett woke up, I went to his bedroom and I said "Good morning sunshine!" to what he replied "Hi mama, I am so happy" I think it was because I was there and not already gone! it made me happy and sad...at the same time, I am glad though that I am able to spend a whole day during the week with my boys.

This weekend we had our special event at the ballpark. We got to see the Diamondbacks against the Giants...it was a lot of fun and I think the kids enjoyed it... I think....I will post some pictures this week. Next time, I will do things a little different...I think the parents enjoyed the game and the kids just enjoyed seeing Baxter and eating hot dogs! Ha Ha

Going back to work....

Tomorrow is my official first day back and I am not ready. I didn't expect to feel this way but I am really struggling. When I had Bennett he seemed to not need me as much, he was more comfortable laying in his crib, than being held and it was easier for me to not feel so guilty leaving him. Brock loves to be held by anyone but most of the time, he will only want me. I never had that with Bennett so, I don't know if he is ready for me to go back to work.

I am sad...I guess every working mom goes through this, I am sure everyone cries going back to work. I know I probably will. We shall see how he does and go from there, I may have to make adjustments to my schedule. I love my job and my kiddos at work but my boys are my life.

Bennett is doing really good with Brock, he told me this afternoon that he loves his baby brother, I said to him, I hope you feel the same way when you are 15...to what Greg replied..."he won't"...he knows, he has 2 brothers. :)

Although Bennett is doing great, there are a couple of things we are having issues with, the pacifier and the bottle...Bennett would not take a pacifier after he was 6-8 months old and now, we wants them AGAIN! I don't want to make a big deal and tell him that he can't have them and make him feel like Brock can and he can't. He asks for milk all the time and wants the paci...its kind of funny really because he has asked me to hold him to sleep a few times when I am holding Brock... I am kind of liking that since he is not a cuddly baby but, hopefully we will get over this soon.

In everything give thanks...

After we got home, I felt pretty good...a week after I was back in the hospital with complications...I have to honestly say, I was scared and felt so sad to not be able to take care of my boys for 4 days while I was recovering from surgery...again!

3 weeks later, Bennett was in the hospital with a gastrointestinal virus. My WORST nightmare, what a feeling of desperation to want to make your baby feel better and not be able to. We both recovered and were back home after a few days...Praise God!

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus. I Th 5:18
I always heard it from my parents...be thankful for everything and I am.

I am thankful for what happened because it reminded me of how fragile life can be and that only God has control, not me. I can't make my baby feel better, no matter what I do. I am thankful to God for helping me get through it and providing a loving family that is there for me.

I wish everyone had the support of family, it makes things so much easier!

Welcome Home My Sweet, Sweet Love...Brock

I thought that I would have all the time in the world to write in my blog after the baby was born...silly me! God had different plans for us...

The C-section went as planned, Greg and I got to the hospital and we were able to take some pictures before we went into surgery, we had time to talk a bit and just enjoy eachother's company before Brock came.

May 28th 2010, Brock came out at 11:57 am, screaming...the sweetest noise in my ears! Everything went well and I was able to look at him soon after he came out...I was feeling pretty good, nauseous the rest of the day but other than that...no complaints. We struggled a little with feeding but by the time we left the hospital we were doing better.

Bennett was thrilled to meet his brother and was excited about the present Brock had brought for him.

The best part about my stay at the hospital was the people who took care of me, my doctor was awesome and the nurses!!! just as awesome. I was lucky enough to have all these familiar faces taking care of me...almost every day when a new nurse came in, I would say....I know you....and of course I did, they were the moms of some of my patients!!!

So, it was really wonderful to have people that I know and that I like and that are sweet, kind and compassionate taking great care of us... so thank you Cathy, Anita and Jen...and all the other "moms/nurses" that were working and took the time to come say hi...I sooo thank you...

I tell you, not only was I spoiled by these wonderful ladies that work there but also, one of our "moms" actually took the time to come to the hospital and take some very very special pictures while Brock and I were still in the hospital...she did a fabulous job and as I told her these pictures are so special...I will forever be thankful...thank you Susan!!! I will post her info once she is ready just in case anyone is interested in having some pictures taken at the hospital!!

Brock is a very good baby, only cries when he is hungry or dirty...I am so glad he is here. I just want to hold him and love him. I feel so blessed.

My Prayer for Brock

I have always believed in prayer...so as we get ready to have another baby...I want to share my prayer for Brock with you...I am emotional...sentimental...its the hormones probably....I know, I know....but I also trust in the Lord with all my heart and pray this prayer in my heart for Brock.

Dear Lord,
Please hold Brock in your hands as he is born, guide the surgeons hands and bring him to this world completely healthy. Fill him with your joy throughout his life.

Give Brock a strong heart that relies only in You. Give him a kind and compassionate heart that is in tune with Your heart...and that NOTHING.....NOTHING ever makes him turn away from you.
May Brock love you and always keep you as a strong presence in his life. Protect him his whole life and may he be found a good and faithful servant to you always.

I love you Lord and I thank you for the opportunity and incredible blessing of allowing me to be his mommy, give me patience, immeasureable love, kindness, tenderness and everything he will need from me to guide him. Help me be a good example for him and always let him know that I love him regardless of any circumstance.
Amen.

I made it to 38 weeks!! and didn't think I would!

Neither my doctor nor I thought I would make it to 38 weeks...I am sitting at home, eating cherries and enjoying my baby and my hubby. I am so thankful I have been able to carry this baby so far without any complications or very few problems I should say...God is good!!
I am off next week, doctor's orders...I am bummed really because I think the week would go by much faster for me...but I need to listen...just like I tell Bennett.

I got lots of good advice from my friends (moms of patients) this last week...so, I am trying to do a few of those things...one of them said, You have your over night bag ready right? and I said...aaaaah...No? and it is still not ready but I will work on it this weekend.
Another idea was to get my other car seat ready and put a baby in it so Bennett can start to get used to it...great idea...I'm doing that this weekend as well...I also got a few things for the baby...I think I am ready....right?

Any advice, suggestions????

I am excited, hopeful, joyful, a little nervous...and honestly a little scared... Greg just said he is ready to move on to the next stage...and I said what do you mean the next stage? and he said...You not being pregnant... I wonder why? :)

Please pray that everything goes well and we don't have any complications, that God leads the surgeons hands and that next friday we have a healthy baby.

Will update you often!!!

Seriously....if you have any suggestions or advice.. PLEASE tell me...you think you are ready and then you ARE NOT!

Are my patients awesome or what???

Every single day, I get a card, flowers, a gift...a word of encouragement, even prayers from my patients. I just can't thank everyone enough, I truly feel that I don't deserve it!! It just means so much to me that all my patients and their moms even think about us...being so busy!!!

I can only say WOW and thank you! You make me want to come to work everyday and always do my best, even today when I am having a lot of contractions...the doctor sent me home but I am just finishing up some stuff!!!

Oh! yes...there is one more thing I can say...I love you too!!!

I will have to post a picture of my flowers that I got from one of my little girls...if it is posted I didn't go into labor if I don't...I will be sending an announcement soon... :)
Much much love....to you!

Mother's Day

Oh wow!! Mother's Day came and went and here I am just now taking the time to write about it. "My day" was fabulous, Greg wanted to make Eggs Benedict for my mom, my sister and I...he did and they were great, we sat outside and watched the kids play. It was a lovely day!!! I love my hubby, he is the best husband in the world!

As I said before, Mother's Day has a new meaning to me...not only because now I am a mom and I understand my mom more and better but because I see the responsibility I have raising a child!!

I learned a lot from my mom; cook, bake, clean, work hard, respect others and much much more but, what still amazes me about my mom was her commitment to be a good wife and set a good example for us kids although I know sometimes she was in diagreement with my dad, she supported him and stood by him.

I still think about that today... and its a great example to follow...I think though, Greg and I talk a lot and we are on the same page with most things which makes it easier for me...

My parents have a great marriage still today, 45 years strong...I love seeing them hug and kiss, listen to Toni Bennett and smile at eachother. What an example of love and commitment.

So, to the point...I am committed to set a good example for my boys, be loving, supportive and stand by my husband...be a great mother guiding them as best as I can...and I pray everyday that God will help me achieve just that.

I don't know if you heard about the tragedy at The University of Virginia...Yeardley Love a senior, was beaten to death by her boyfriend. Both were Lacrosse players...tragic in every sense of the word, not only for the mother who lost her daughter (her dad passed away in 1993) but for the parents of her boyfriend who killed her.

I read an interview of his mom and she said "As a mother I never expected to be in a situation like this"...I can only imagine the questions she asks herself since that tragic day...was it my fault, should I have done something different when I was raising my son....what did I do wrong? Only God knows, she could have been the perfect mother. I don't know, its just a reminder again of the great responsibility we have.

So, as I think about celebrating Mother's Day, I also think about this great responsibility to raise responsible adults that treasure life and that would never think about hurting anyone.

I could go on writing about this but, I wont...its too sad. You can google it and read the whole story.

26 days and Counting...

First picture ever of Baby Libby #2 after the embryo transfer

4D picture at 30 weeks

Went to a massage at AMOMI, the only physician supervised spa for pregnant women and Babyshots photography was there taking pictures...for free!!!

I looked awful but I thought, oh well...why not remember how I looked...not that sometimes I think.... why remember how I look??? :)

The last few weeks of my pregnancies have always been difficult...I can't sleep, I can't breathe, heartburn...swollen ankles, swollen everything!!!!...going to the bathroom every hour...on the hour....Must be the same for everyone!

BUT...what a feeling.... helping God create a human being...your own son or daughter...

I almost feel like I am complaining but, I am not...I am happy and just can not wait to meet him, what a gift for women to do this!

Time flies and now I am waiting to meet my baby....then you blink and they are talking to you saying "Need to listen..No!" (Bennett)

Working is good for me, it allows me to concentrate on my patients and not think about my struggles...plus I just love seeing the kiddos and watching them grow! Last week one of my patients brought my flowers...another one made me a book on her computer....how can you not love working with children!!!!. They make you feel special and loved....and the feeling is mutual they are all special and loved!

Any ideas for swollen ankles? or should I say cankles, elephant ankles? :)

Gearing up for Mother's Day!

Mother's Day has a new meaning to me...not so much because I am a mom now but because now I appreciate my mom's hard work and sacrifice a bit more. I can understand the worries of everyday life that no one thinks about BUT a mom.

At work, I understand the "crazy moms" more and better because I have officially become one of them!!!

One of the great things about my "job" is talking to moms...I learn soo much...women in general are amazing...how do you do what you do and find time for MORE? How do many get through delivering a baby the MacGyver way and not think about it twice....BLOWS ME AWAY!!!! Could men do this? NO WAY!!!

As we approach Mothers day...I absolutely want to make it a point to celebrate moms in our office...just because moms are....awesome! So, the whole week leading to Mother's Day we have special little treats for moms...the whole week whether their kiddos have an appointment or not...so come by and let us spoil you just a bit...

EARTH DAY

Mount St. Helen pictures from USDA Forest Services

I wonder how many people realized it was Earth Day sometime last week...what is Earth Day anyway? So, I did what everone else does and I went online and typed "What is E.D"?

Here is what I came up with:
Established in March 1970, "a global holiday to celebrate the wonder of life in our planet"...The wonder of life in our planet...

I went on with my search and found another website that says "the world is in greater peril than ever and that climate change is the "greatest challenge of our time" and it blames humankind for it.

Also found that most of the research was biased and manipulated...the evidence that does exist does not justify the social, economic cost of reducing CO2 emissions.

So, my questions are:
Are we celebrating the wonder of this planet?
No, I don't think we are...do we ever stop and think why we recycle...don't use or try not to use paper towels...etc? I don't, maybe you do... When I see a beautiful animal, a beautiful sunset, a beautiful flower I do think...WOW!!! there is a God who created this....Am I celebrating the wonder of life on this planet when I think that....I don't know.


Is the world in greater peril than ever and is humankind to blame?
No, I think we would think too much of ourselves to remotely think that anything that we do can have an impact...I mean a real impact on our planet...

For instance, when Mount St. Helen erupted in WA. Its cloud covered the earth ..."THE EARTH" in 15 days, the blast was 400 times more powerful than the atomic bomb that leveled Hiroshima. It blew down enough trees to build 300,000 two-bedroom homes. Nearly 7,000 big game animals (deer, elk and bear) perished.
Did we cause Mt. St. Helen to erupt? No.....Can humankind cause this kind of disaster from CO2 emissions....Come on!!!...Rest my case....

Is this all false and a political platform to make a lot of money for some?
Possible...

So, should we celebrate Earth Day? Yes, absolutely we should...for what it is....Celebrating the wonder of life on this planet...not throwing away my son's crayons for ones that have no petroleum in them...among other crazy things like that...

I think its about being a responsible adult and doing what is right...teaching our children to appreciate and respect others and our differences, nature, animals and to not be wasteful of the resources we have been given but, preserving them for others to enjoy. So, to me it boils down to responsibility...to teach our children to do what is right....Isn't that what we are supposed to do anyway?

I am sorry if many disagree, I realize this is a touchy subject...I welcome any comments...just don't be mad...:)