One of the saddest days of my life

My cousin Abiel passed away two weeks ago on Saturday. He was 41, married to a great gal and had 3 children. He was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 years ago.  He was soft spoken, kind, gentle, loving, a great friend, and a great cousin to me!

Again, I find myself wondering why... Again, not questioning God but just wondering why...

My dad called me and told me that he was not doing well, I felt that I needed to say goodbye so I called my brother and we flew to Mexico arriving around noon on Saturday, when I came into the hospital room my knees felt weak I kissed him and I just said... "I love you, more than you can imagine" he smiled a bit and nodded.

He is right in the middle, wearing a blue jacket. I am sitting on the floor on the left side with pony tails. 

Church camp  leading worship, he is the second on the left and I am in between his sisters.

We grew up together and spent many days enjoying time with all the cousins, we went to church together every week, went to camps together, took trips together, many, many fond and sweet memories. Spending time with my cousins was one of my favorite things to do growing up.

I could not leave the hospital, I don't know why? I felt I needed to stay...He was restless and I asked his oldest sister if she had sang to him (she has a beautiful voice) she said "No, I can't" and I said "Yes, you can" So, she began to sing, two of my other cousins and my brother were there so, we all sang. The last song we sang was "Amazing Grace"... minutes later he passed away. My dad called his time of death and  said: "God gave, God took, may His name be blessed" We prayed together and thanked God for his life.

I consider it a privilege to have been there. Watching my uncle remove all the tubes and touching his face was more than I could stand, I hugged him and he said "I held him yesterday as a baby and now he is gone" "Love on your children and your husband because you just never know"

I know I will see him again one day and he will be handsome  and smiling like he always used to do.  For now, I will just love on my husband and my children because I just don't know.