My First Week Back at Work!

Bennett Newborn

After I had Bennett I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to go back to work. I quietly cried myself to sleep the night before I went back to work thinking "How can I leave my baby?" I had prayed for so many years to be able to have a baby that I just felt awful leaving him. Obviously, I survived....he survived and so did Brock and now Brecken!

Three babies later and I still dread going back to work.  That begins the day I have them! This Monday came and I did not cry but did feel my heart ache leaving her. I drove to work thinking about it and then I thought about it all day.

After being there for a few hours, I suddenly felt happy... then I felt guilty...because I was happy, what in the world!!?  After thinking about it for a few days, it came to me. Making my children at the office happy makes me happy. It is a gift!! I do not by any means mean it in an arrogant way! It is a gift from God. Being able to do what I do and have the kiddos leave the office with a smile is a gift, having children tell me they want to be a pediatric dentist like me, makes me happy!

What is amazing to me is that it took me days to realize this!  This gift is something that I love to do AND it makes me happy precisely BECAUSE I LOVE IT!

I know that I will continue to struggle to find a balance between being a "mom" and a "working mom" and I also know that I will feel guilty one way or another but, I am lucky that I am in love with both.

We all have gifts and most of the time we do not know what  those gifts are but finding them will help you be happier even in situations where you feel there is no reason to be happy about, like leaving your babies behind to go to work.

Find yours!

xo, L

Brock Newborn

Brecken two weeks old