My first two weeks at work

Well, I made it through my first two weeks at work...barely. I must admit it was a struggle to leave my babies! I don't know why but I found it harder to go back to work this time. Today was especially hard but, once I get to the office and see my kiddos over there it is much easier. I feel like I have relationships with moms and their babies and it makes me happy.

I have started to take a day off a week, last wednesday when I was home and Bennett woke up, I went to his bedroom and I said "Good morning sunshine!" to what he replied "Hi mama, I am so happy" I think it was because I was there and not already gone! it made me happy and sad...at the same time, I am glad though that I am able to spend a whole day during the week with my boys.

This weekend we had our special event at the ballpark. We got to see the Diamondbacks against the Giants...it was a lot of fun and I think the kids enjoyed it... I think....I will post some pictures this week. Next time, I will do things a little different...I think the parents enjoyed the game and the kids just enjoyed seeing Baxter and eating hot dogs! Ha Ha

Going back to work....

Tomorrow is my official first day back and I am not ready. I didn't expect to feel this way but I am really struggling. When I had Bennett he seemed to not need me as much, he was more comfortable laying in his crib, than being held and it was easier for me to not feel so guilty leaving him. Brock loves to be held by anyone but most of the time, he will only want me. I never had that with Bennett so, I don't know if he is ready for me to go back to work.

I am sad...I guess every working mom goes through this, I am sure everyone cries going back to work. I know I probably will. We shall see how he does and go from there, I may have to make adjustments to my schedule. I love my job and my kiddos at work but my boys are my life.

Bennett is doing really good with Brock, he told me this afternoon that he loves his baby brother, I said to him, I hope you feel the same way when you are 15...to what Greg replied..."he won't"...he knows, he has 2 brothers. :)

Although Bennett is doing great, there are a couple of things we are having issues with, the pacifier and the bottle...Bennett would not take a pacifier after he was 6-8 months old and now, we wants them AGAIN! I don't want to make a big deal and tell him that he can't have them and make him feel like Brock can and he can't. He asks for milk all the time and wants the paci...its kind of funny really because he has asked me to hold him to sleep a few times when I am holding Brock... I am kind of liking that since he is not a cuddly baby but, hopefully we will get over this soon.

In everything give thanks...

After we got home, I felt pretty good...a week after I was back in the hospital with complications...I have to honestly say, I was scared and felt so sad to not be able to take care of my boys for 4 days while I was recovering from surgery...again!

3 weeks later, Bennett was in the hospital with a gastrointestinal virus. My WORST nightmare, what a feeling of desperation to want to make your baby feel better and not be able to. We both recovered and were back home after a few days...Praise God!

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus. I Th 5:18
I always heard it from my parents...be thankful for everything and I am.

I am thankful for what happened because it reminded me of how fragile life can be and that only God has control, not me. I can't make my baby feel better, no matter what I do. I am thankful to God for helping me get through it and providing a loving family that is there for me.

I wish everyone had the support of family, it makes things so much easier!