My First Week Back at Work!

Bennett Newborn

After I had Bennett I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to go back to work. I quietly cried myself to sleep the night before I went back to work thinking "How can I leave my baby?" I had prayed for so many years to be able to have a baby that I just felt awful leaving him. Obviously, I survived....he survived and so did Brock and now Brecken!

Three babies later and I still dread going back to work.  That begins the day I have them! This Monday came and I did not cry but did feel my heart ache leaving her. I drove to work thinking about it and then I thought about it all day.

After being there for a few hours, I suddenly felt happy... then I felt guilty...because I was happy, what in the world!!?  After thinking about it for a few days, it came to me. Making my children at the office happy makes me happy. It is a gift!! I do not by any means mean it in an arrogant way! It is a gift from God. Being able to do what I do and have the kiddos leave the office with a smile is a gift, having children tell me they want to be a pediatric dentist like me, makes me happy!

What is amazing to me is that it took me days to realize this!  This gift is something that I love to do AND it makes me happy precisely BECAUSE I LOVE IT!

I know that I will continue to struggle to find a balance between being a "mom" and a "working mom" and I also know that I will feel guilty one way or another but, I am lucky that I am in love with both.

We all have gifts and most of the time we do not know what  those gifts are but finding them will help you be happier even in situations where you feel there is no reason to be happy about, like leaving your babies behind to go to work.

Find yours!

xo, L

Brock Newborn

Brecken two weeks old

I Miss My Husband

Being a mom is great. Greatest joy I have ever felt, greatest fear, greatest accomplishment, greatest worry...greatest everything but, once babies come into the picture your relationship with your husband changes. Having said that, I don't mean that it changes in a bad way, it is just different, you are both going in different directions, you do this while I do that, you clean the vomit while I bathe whoever is throwing up at the time. Always one going right and one going left. 

I  love Greg more now than I did when I married him, I love him, among many  other things, because he is such a great dad. He loves on them but he is also tough which I think is good for them too.

But, my oh my!! I miss my baby. I miss our morning jogs, I miss our couch time, I miss movies, long dinners, trips, watching football together, taking naps...Oh ! I can go on and on and on...

I absolutely want to make sure that I do everything I can so  HE knows that he is the only boy in the world for me.

As you know and I am kind of learning this as I go and as our family grows,  it takes work to keep the fire burning...you get so busy that you don't realize that you haven't kissed or told each other something nice.....it doesn't just happen, you have to make it happen.

I have always loved football and now that the season started it is a great time for us...we don't sit on the couch to watch football anymore but, we have televisions that are strategically placed so we can play with the boys, color, read books and catch a little football. You do what you can!!

My Biggest Challenge....Yet

Brecken will be 4 weeks old tomorrow! I can't believe how fast time has gone by...I love my baby girl, she seems so fragile but at the same time she is so tough already. Her brothers and cousins fight over her and pull her different directions and she seems to not mind. At least not now, maybe later?!

Having 3 babies 3 years and younger has been a challenge and I love challenges...but this requires a lot more of everything. More focus, more patience, more work, more energy, more sacrifice in many different ways and so much more. 

My 3 treasures sleeping in the car

My struggle or challenge is being the best mom, wife and pediatric dds for my kiddos at the office that I can be. Finding a balance to do everything well and feel good about everything when I FINALLY get to bed. My problem is that I love my family and I love what I do, so it is hard to take away time or effort in any aspect of my life.

I did start my own practice so I can have flexibility and control of my schedule so, I am starting there, prioritizing everything so I can go down my list or try to...

I have written it before and I will write it again, women are amazing little creatures, stopping at nothing to care for their family and everything else!! 

I learn from you guys every day. Thanks!!

My next post.... I MISS MY HUSBAND!!!

La Vie en Rose

I am really loving being a mom to a little girl. More than I thought I would...Pink is pretty much everywhere now and I am really getting into it. There is just something about a little girl that just draws me to her. 

Brecken is doing wonderful, she is the breastfeeding champ of the house by far, she is sleeping pretty well and is gaining back the weight she lost after she was born. 

I am SLOWLY but surely, getting back to my computer to get some work done between naps, school pick ups and everything else and by everything else I mean....keeping Brock from killing himself and putting lotion, ice packs and whatever else I can think of on Bennett. Check out these pictures. I absolutely can not loose track of these two for a second!! 

Brock's Second Bloody Accident!

Bennett's Allergic Reaction to what we think was
a mosquito bite!

Brock loving on his baby sister!
SO sweet!!!

So, as much as I hated pink before...it sure is growing on me now! Thanks again for all the emails, texts, gifts, cards and loves you have sent our way. It means the world to us! 

Much love from us!

Time stands still

I tried to prepare myself as much as I could for this moment. As always, it has proven to be useless. NOTHING can prepare you for 3 babies 3 and under. It seems like they are conspiring against Greg and I by not sleeping through the night...the 3 of them!

I admit, I am overwhelmed which is a lot for me to say because not much bothers me but...man, it is hard. I am sure it will get much easier and once our routine is established it will be much better but,  it sure is a challenge.


Although I struggle with fears of not being the best mommy and wife that I would like to be, I try to focus on doing just that...trying to be the best mommy and wife that I can be. Time for me... stands still when I spend time with each of them, I treasure each moment, each smile, burp, gas, and everything else that comes with being a mom, I especially find sleeping time absolutely delicious with each of them...at this point they all want "mamma" to go to sleep and I will enjoy and hold on to that for as long as I can.

As overwhelmed, tired, sleep deprived and everything else...as I am, I would not have it any other way. I love my husband  and my children more than words can say.

The boys are loving their sister and always want to touch her and kiss her...they get upset if she cries and tell me "Mommie, Brecken is crying!" I hope they will continue that for the rest of their lives.

Life is good...and it will be better as soon as I can get 3 hours of sleep at one time.... :)

My baby girl

We are doing great! Of course a C-section is not a walk in the park but I am just so thankful Brecken is healthy!

I think she looks just like me... Poor thing! :) judging by a few attitudes she will likely be like me which is very worrisome!!! Oh well... Not much I can do!

My heart is full of joy and I praise God for this miracle in my life!

Will keep everyone posted, thanks for the texts, emails, cards, flowers... I am overwhelmed by the love that is around us!

Much love.... Brecken and mommy

Mommy...who is God?

Bennett asked me this question yesterday morning while I was feeding him breakfast, before I could respond he moved on to his second question...Where does he live?....and before I could answer this questions he asked yet another question...Is he really big and is he everywhere?

How in the world do you answer these questions for a 3 year old? I have been thinking about what my answers should have been and I still don't know exactly what I should have said. 

My answer went something like this...God is, everywhere...and he lives in the sky. He is very big and that is how he created the sun and the moon and then Bennett interrupted "did he make the ocean?" I said yes! He made everything...even you in my belly! You know what else? He loves you very much! His reply was simple...WOW! Then, he moved on to whatever he was doing satisfied with my answer.

I am still struggling with his first question, obviously I did not answer it! Who is God?  Really, who is God for a 3 year old? I know who God is for me, My Father... my strength... my shield! I pray that soon I can help Bennett better understand and mostly experience Who God is in his life.

This is God making Bennett!

Phew!! Will there be more tricky questions like this? I can only imagine