Brock is already 3 months

Time flies!! Brock is 3 months old already, where has time gone. I feel I just had him!!! Babies are so sweeet and delicious!

Gerda Hale

Bennett and Grandma Evelyn

Greg's grandmother passed away this week, I truly did not think that I was going to be sad about it but, I am. She was a very interesting person and NOT your typical grandma. No baking cookies, no loving ways...very direct, stubborn, a little selfish...and more. But, she knew how to have fun. When I met her, Greg and I had just gotten married and were living in Connecticut, she was in her 80's and she was hard to keep up with. Right about 5 o'clock she would tell Greg, "Gregory, its cocktail time, fix me a stiff drink" , with a still strong German accent, she would travel with a bottle of Canadian Whisky, unbelievable, as I am writing this, I am just laughing with Greg.... I don't think either of my grandmothers ever had an alcoholic drink so to me, that was SHOCKING!

She was born in Berlin, Germany to a jewish dad and a "gentile" mom, grew up spoiled until the II World War began. As the war began, her parents sent her to London, where she was supposed to live with a family who would take care of her but, instead they treated her as their maid. She met who would be grandpa Kurt and she had Evelyn (Greg's mom) during the war. The stories she told were amazing...her dad and brother had been taken to concentration camps and her mom bought their way out paying the guards. Then, her parents fled to Belgium where her mom worked (as she was not jewish) and her husband hid from the German army. Granny got on a ship with Evelyn and Grandpa Kurt and came to the US.

I think her life was hard starting out and I those events made her who she became. Although I was never close to her, I will miss her, I have Greg and my boys because of her and I will forever be thankful. We saw her in Iowa a few weeks ago and she told me..."I can't believe it...your boys are adopted, they are too big and blonde and could not be yours, you are too small" . :) I just smiled and said to her well, they got your blue eyes and she didn't say anything else...I am so glad that she got to meet my two boys, she was thrilled.

We spoke to her 2 weeks ago and she said goodbye, that was sooo said but, she was ok with it. She said "I'm done this is no way to live, I have had a good life" she was 90. I began to cry and I thanked her for everything she did for us, I told her I loved her although I hesitated but then I realized I was being honest...I do love her. I had Bennett get on the phone and tell her "I love you granny" and then he went on telling her about the whales and the sharks.

I will miss her, she was special, in a different kind of way but, still special. Rest in peace Granny, we will miss you.

Life could not be any sweeter

Wearing Bennett's Bruce the shark hat...tickling him to get a "happy picture" in the happiest place on earth! Bennett's face all day! Dad is more excited about the parade than Bennett.

Baby Brock...sweet as pie! More like daddy

Okay, I didn't think this was going to be so hard...2 babies makes a HUGE difference. Lots of moms warned me....THEY WERE RIGHT! I have to admit...I AM LOVING IT! Its crazy but I have already asked Greg...can we have another one? He looked at me and with a serious look in his face and he said.."NO" ..... It will be interesting to see what happens. I just feel that I am not done...and if I don't have another one, will I always regret it? or will I get over it? Any thoughts on that ladies?

We have not taken any vacation since Bennett was born so, we took a week off and we headed to where all Phoenicians go in the summer...of course, California. It is such a beautiful state, the weather is incredible and I LOVE the ocean. We took the boys to Disney and Sea World. It was a memorable time, Bennett had no interest in taking pictures with Buzz Lightyear who is his hero, no interest in Mickey Mouse who he loves to watch...No interest in riding any rides...I was just shocked with him not wanting to do anything. I told my sister and she said, that does not surprise me, he is just like you! I had to take a moment to think about this and I came to the conclusion that she is right!!! I was just like that as a little girl!! I will never admit this to her, I am sure she does not read my blog anyway....

The best part of this whole story was how it started for me... before going inside the park I had changed 3 diapers, breastfed on the floor outside Disney and chased Bennett who had no shoes on while I was trying to feed Brock, really fun!!. UNFORGETTABLE!

Greg and I had about 3 hours one afternoon where both boys were taking a nap and we just sat down and had a long talk sitting by the ocean in Seaport Village. Dreaming, planning, hoping and praying for a beautiful life with our boys. It was Awesome! I love my husband, just for putting up with me...and many other reasons. My dad told me one day "sweetie, you will marry a saint or a general" he was right, I was lucky enough to marry a saint. Life could not be any sweeter.

My first two weeks at work

Well, I made it through my first two weeks at work...barely. I must admit it was a struggle to leave my babies! I don't know why but I found it harder to go back to work this time. Today was especially hard but, once I get to the office and see my kiddos over there it is much easier. I feel like I have relationships with moms and their babies and it makes me happy.

I have started to take a day off a week, last wednesday when I was home and Bennett woke up, I went to his bedroom and I said "Good morning sunshine!" to what he replied "Hi mama, I am so happy" I think it was because I was there and not already gone! it made me happy and sad...at the same time, I am glad though that I am able to spend a whole day during the week with my boys.

This weekend we had our special event at the ballpark. We got to see the Diamondbacks against the Giants...it was a lot of fun and I think the kids enjoyed it... I think....I will post some pictures this week. Next time, I will do things a little different...I think the parents enjoyed the game and the kids just enjoyed seeing Baxter and eating hot dogs! Ha Ha

Going back to work....

Tomorrow is my official first day back and I am not ready. I didn't expect to feel this way but I am really struggling. When I had Bennett he seemed to not need me as much, he was more comfortable laying in his crib, than being held and it was easier for me to not feel so guilty leaving him. Brock loves to be held by anyone but most of the time, he will only want me. I never had that with Bennett so, I don't know if he is ready for me to go back to work.

I am sad...I guess every working mom goes through this, I am sure everyone cries going back to work. I know I probably will. We shall see how he does and go from there, I may have to make adjustments to my schedule. I love my job and my kiddos at work but my boys are my life.

Bennett is doing really good with Brock, he told me this afternoon that he loves his baby brother, I said to him, I hope you feel the same way when you are 15...to what Greg replied..."he won't"...he knows, he has 2 brothers. :)

Although Bennett is doing great, there are a couple of things we are having issues with, the pacifier and the bottle...Bennett would not take a pacifier after he was 6-8 months old and now, we wants them AGAIN! I don't want to make a big deal and tell him that he can't have them and make him feel like Brock can and he can't. He asks for milk all the time and wants the paci...its kind of funny really because he has asked me to hold him to sleep a few times when I am holding Brock... I am kind of liking that since he is not a cuddly baby but, hopefully we will get over this soon.

In everything give thanks...

After we got home, I felt pretty good...a week after I was back in the hospital with complications...I have to honestly say, I was scared and felt so sad to not be able to take care of my boys for 4 days while I was recovering from surgery...again!

3 weeks later, Bennett was in the hospital with a gastrointestinal virus. My WORST nightmare, what a feeling of desperation to want to make your baby feel better and not be able to. We both recovered and were back home after a few days...Praise God!

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus. I Th 5:18
I always heard it from my parents...be thankful for everything and I am.

I am thankful for what happened because it reminded me of how fragile life can be and that only God has control, not me. I can't make my baby feel better, no matter what I do. I am thankful to God for helping me get through it and providing a loving family that is there for me.

I wish everyone had the support of family, it makes things so much easier!

Welcome Home My Sweet, Sweet Love...Brock

I thought that I would have all the time in the world to write in my blog after the baby was born...silly me! God had different plans for us...

The C-section went as planned, Greg and I got to the hospital and we were able to take some pictures before we went into surgery, we had time to talk a bit and just enjoy eachother's company before Brock came.

May 28th 2010, Brock came out at 11:57 am, screaming...the sweetest noise in my ears! Everything went well and I was able to look at him soon after he came out...I was feeling pretty good, nauseous the rest of the day but other than that...no complaints. We struggled a little with feeding but by the time we left the hospital we were doing better.

Bennett was thrilled to meet his brother and was excited about the present Brock had brought for him.

The best part about my stay at the hospital was the people who took care of me, my doctor was awesome and the nurses!!! just as awesome. I was lucky enough to have all these familiar faces taking care of me...almost every day when a new nurse came in, I would say....I know you....and of course I did, they were the moms of some of my patients!!!

So, it was really wonderful to have people that I know and that I like and that are sweet, kind and compassionate taking great care of us... so thank you Cathy, Anita and Jen...and all the other "moms/nurses" that were working and took the time to come say hi...I sooo thank you...

I tell you, not only was I spoiled by these wonderful ladies that work there but also, one of our "moms" actually took the time to come to the hospital and take some very very special pictures while Brock and I were still in the hospital...she did a fabulous job and as I told her these pictures are so special...I will forever be thankful...thank you Susan!!! I will post her info once she is ready just in case anyone is interested in having some pictures taken at the hospital!!

Brock is a very good baby, only cries when he is hungry or dirty...I am so glad he is here. I just want to hold him and love him. I feel so blessed.